Eating Disorder Awareness Week

Hi Guys,

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Ok, I wasn't sure whether to write this post today but I want to help raise awareness of eating disorders and show that it is possible to overcome them and live a healthy life. I will never say that recovery is easy or quick - it takes a lot of hard work day in, day out to fight against what your mind is telling you, and even when you are living your life to the full again you have to be on top of your game at all times.

A few days ago my parents mentioned out of the blue how proud they were of me...it took me a bit by surprise as it came from no-where. This morning my mum told me why they had said this.

After cleaning out their room to decorate they came across a letter I wrote them around 3 years ago (maybe 4) and it really sunk in how far I have come, particularly in the last 4-5 months. I read the letter this morning and am plucking up the courage to share it with you. If this gives just one person hope that recovery CAN happen then that adds another reason to why all the fighting has been worthwhile.

*** I do mention weight in this letter so please, if this will trigger you in any way DO NOT READ!

Mum and Dad,
I have had to write this down because it was too hard for me to say face to face. This is probably cowardly but I am ashamed of what I have to say.

I want to let you know that this morning, when i tried to eat a crumpet, I didn't have everything that I told you. I don't know why I lied (maybe I didn't want to worry you. probably an excuse from the anorexia) I did manage a banana and a few mouthfuls of milk, but not crumpets, banana and a glass of milk like i said. For lunch I had tuna and 1/2 a wrap, and had my Complan this afternoon because to be honest I knew I couldn't miss this as well.

I also want to be totally honest about why I am so worried to eat 1200 calories. Since we agreed for me to eat this amount I have maybe managed it 5 times in the whole month. That's why I'm totally freaked out that if I eat this amount constantly that my body is going to grab it all and store it as fat. I understand I have to gain weight but don't understand why I am so petrified of it at the same time.
I also worry that if I allow myself to eat this amount I will go mad and start eating loads and not stop. Deep down i think I know this isn't realistic but it is still one of the thoughts I want to be open about. I also have difficulty in understanding why my weight maintained for so long if I am not eating sufficiently.

I decided to go on the scales and actually face the truth. I sometimes think I'm kidding myself into thinking I am safe and not really that ill.
I weighed 5 stone 9 pounds - I think it's a BMI of either 13.5/13.6
What worries me the most about this is that I am in a constant battle with the anorexia, and don't always beat it. And at this point in time I can't afford to lose many more fights with it.

I really try to take inspiration from people around me, and am determined to keep fighting this battle.
I know that I can't do it alone and need a lot of support and guidance which hopefully I will get if my referral goes through. I know I always have your support and you are willing to fight with me, and I am truly grateful for that, but I also think we are too emotionally attached. I just don't know what is best for me.
I went on the Internet today for inspiration and managed to get enough fight to have my afternoon Complan, but I am worried that I can't turn it around quickly enough.

And what I really want to say is, thank you.
For the past 2 years I have made your lives hell. I have made you watch as I pushed away support from you and made a train wreck of my life. I am so sorry for this and even if it takes me the rest of my life, I will repay you.
Even if all it takes is to lead a happy, normal life (if there is such a thing being a Dickens!)
I will do it.

You both know how much you mean to me, even if I don't always show it, and I can't put across how much I respect you both and always take on your opinions.
Hopefully I haven't disappointed you too much, and will eventually get the chance to make you both immensely proud of me when I have a fit healthy body and a life I love.

Love you more than the world
Kate xx

Reading this back, brings up a lot of emotions so I'll end it quickly.
Recover is possible. We need to raise awareness of mental illnesses and eating disorders so they can be treated quickly.

My life could not be more different than where I was then. I'm strong, fit and healthy and can Bench Press more that I weighed at that time! I start another part time job as a Fitness Instructor in a few weeks and am finally living and loving the fit life.

And once you beat an eating disorder - everything else is a breeze.

Stay strong and keep fighting
xx

Rooboard Review

Hey :)

Todays post is going to be a product review.

A few weeks ago I was contacted on twitter my a gentleman called Mason who asked if I would like to test his Rooboards out. Sounded great to me, and I agreed to give it a go!

I came home from work a couple of days after to find a neat little package that was packed with my Rooboard. I opened it up and my first impressions were great...It was light and compact which would be perfect for taking to the gym; and didn't look like the usual bland coloured 'balance boards' you would usually see.

After a quick look on the website at the vast amount of exercises you can use the Rooboard for, I decided to try out the core exercises for a week and see how it worked. It's gooood!!
Due to the instability you can really feel it working the smaller accessory muscles and the tell tale signs on the dreaded Abs doms the following day confirmed it provides a damn good core workout :)

So far I have only used it on core work, but I am going to try it on one of my Sports Therapy clients who is currently in rehab after he damaged his ankle playing Rugby. I think it will help work on his proprioception and allow him to begin to get more stability in his ankle joint, reducing the chances of injury re-occurrence.

I definitely suggest you take a look at the website here so you can see more about the Rooboard and how it could be used to help some of you fitness/rehab goals.

A handy piece of kit I will continue to use.
Thank you Mason for allowing me to test out the Rooboard!!

Just a Quickie..

Hi guys!

Hope everyone smashed their January goals and are all cracking on again this month. I can't believe how fast this month is going - it'll be Xmas again before we know it!

So...many of you will probably know the amazing news that I made it to the finals of the USN Body and Lifestyle Challenge :) I still can't really believe it but am so proud. I have had to put in years of hard work previous to doing the challenge to get to a place where I was healthy enough to even contemplate taking it on, but every last little bit of effort has been worth it.

It's crazy how much my life has changed since starting the challenge 4 months ago and I am loving  every minute of it. I don't have access to, or the money, to access the best facilities or fitness experts that I know other finalists have but...I do have a passion, a desire, a dream and one hell of a lot of dedication to keep learning and developing. I'm excited to keep putting 100% effort in this year to see where I can get myself!

Not only that but work is changing too. I work part time in the office and now do a lot of online training and nutrition programs for people, and am going for an interview at a local gym this evening to get back on the gym floor and put my qualifications to good use. My life has done a total 360.

I just want to take the opportunity in this post to thank everyone for their support on my journey so far. It would have been a million times harder if I didn't have you all behind me, showing encouragement and helping me out.

Now it's time to really go for it and aim for the skies!!

I also want to make the blog a bit more interactive so am going to do a Q&A session. So any questions you have for me, either leave a comment on here or send a tweet and I will get to answering them on the next post.

Have a great week.

Aim for the moon and you might just land on the stars

Let's Crack ON!!

Hey There :)

Wow, that was a long blogging hiatus! So much has been going on since Xmas I’ve not known whether I’m coming or going, and to be honest the past few weeks I was in a major funk.

 

I try and stay positive all the time but sometimes we all need a bit of a break…I’ve had that break and will now be back blogging on a more regular basis to document my journey through 2013.
Since I’ve not updated on here for ages there is so much that’s been going on I’m not sure where to start. There’s so much I want to communicate so I think I’ll have to break it down over a few posts, but I’ll see how much I ramble one here.

 

So…after completing the USN challenge I continued to lean out until Xmas time. At that stage I was going to enjoy Xmas and get back to building lean mass and strength from January. That didn’t really go as planned and I ended up in a whirlwind of extremely excessive training and a low carb and (for me) a low calorie diet. This for me was still around 2300 but with the amount of circuit and HIIT training I was doing it ruined me.

A few weeks ago I started a strength program to try and put a stop to the leaning out and start on the path I initially aimed for, then got hit with a virus and was seriously suffering from fatigue and was expressing all the signs of over training. (no motivation, lack of confidence, weak, emotional) Just everything I am usually not.

 

After taking a complete rest for a week, nourishing myself well whilst resting and getting away to spend some quality time with my friends I am back on track. Fighting fit and ready to smash my goals!! I am excited to see where I can get this year.

 

My current training is going to be based on a strength program to work on Power and Oly lifts, supplementing that with hypertrophy to help build the size I want. I have a program designed by USN athlete Emma Storey-Gordon for the strength aspect and will be following a 6 week cycle. The really fun stuff starts after this!! I will be joining a CrossFit box in Teesside (quite a journey from where I live but I’m committed to reaching my goals)

 

When I first started out on my fitness journey, probably around 6 months ago, my main focus was fitness modelling and bodybuilding. This got me to a great place and really helped me battle my demons but, it really isn’t me and I believe it now actually hinders my progress, as I was always so focused on training for aesthetics which was driving and fuelling the disordered side of my mentality. This is what I want to break away from, and this is where the sport of CrossFit comes in.

When I was younger I was always the sporty, outdoors type who thrived when training for athletic purposes. I was strong and lean, well fuelled and represented the North of England in Hockey, and competed at various levels at Horse Riding, Athletics and much more.

I am eager for that drive again…Training for life, athleticism, power, speed, endurance. That is what excites me. So my main goal this year is to get to a place where I can compete in CrossFit. I am under no illusion that this is going to take a lot of hard work, but I am ready for it. I have fought like hell to beat an illness that takes many people’s lives and I am now ready to fight like hell to achieve my goals, inspire others to take action and to live my dreams. That is the ultimate goal!

 

Along the way I will be undertaking events such as, Tough Mudder, Spartan Sprint and a ½ Marathon, to help raise money for charities such as York Mind and BEAT Eating Disorders, then I will take on the biggest challenge of all next year…The 8hr CrossFit Endurance Challenge!

 

I want to encourage others to feel empowered and train for something more than just how you look on the outside. CrossFit is all about community and physical preparedness, allowing people to feel strong and be ready to take on whatever life throws at them. To me this is what it’s all about, continuing to develop, get better, fitter, stronger and happier, having a balance and enjoying life. And do you know what? If you train for athleticism, fuel yourself well and relax occasionally, you will look god damn awesome in the process and have energy and confidence. Have you seen Andrea Ager, Christmas Abbott, Rich Froning (Pizza and Peanut Butter man)?

 

A lot is changing around here and it’s changing for the better for ME. I am no longer going to be a sheep, conforming to what I feel like I ‘should’ be doing. There will be experiments along the way, some may work, some may not, but it’s a learning process and one day I will find what works for me. We are all individual and if you trust yourself, you know what your body wants, needs or requires. Have the confidence to listen to it and you will be rewarded.

 

Right I’ve gone on quite a bit as usual haha.

 

That’s essentially where I’m at currently. You will be seeing some surprising little additions to my post w/o meals, which I will discuss more in the next blog post.

 

Hope you all had a great Xmas and slightly better start to 2013 than I did, and congrats if you managed to read the whole post!!

Adios!! :)

Remember “Never a failure, always a lesson”

Sorry about the absence!

Happy New Year!!!

Sorry it's late. I have been meaning to write a post for ages now but have been sooo busy.

There's a lot going on at the moment for me in terms of work, starting new projects at KDFitPro and I suppose life in general. It's certainly a rocky time at the moment and I have some decisions to make about which way to take my training. Don't worry, it's not stopping and never will - in fact I want to take it up a notch.

I'm loving being busy and making loads of new connections in the world of fitness - I'm thriving on it and it's made my motivation to succeed soar! Once I have got a solid schedule sorted again I will return to more frequent blogging and document my next stages.

Until then, just catch up with me on twitter - I try my best to get back to everyone.

Hope your all off to a great start in 2013!

Train like Spartans, eat well and rest when you need to. More importantly, ENJOY IT!!

MIA

Hi guys!

Sorry for being MIA on here recently, since the USN challenge I have been crazy busy!

Work has been hectic and I have been settling into a new training routine – I don’t know about you, but the first week of a new programme is a killer!! Talk about DOMS in muscles I forgot I had, it’s like an anatomy lesson every time I train.

I’m also doing a lot of research into a different nutritional approach which I feel will be more suited to me and my goals. Once I have everything totally sorted I’ll update on here. At the moment it’s just about experimenting a bit and seeing what fits and what doesn’t.

So… the day after the USN challenge finished I felt totally lost! I had goals in mind for 2013 but no definitive plan written down. I was booked in with my Trainer as usual on the Monday so we took some time before the session to get a focus sorted out. I like to have goals and direction, to strive for something seems to engage my mental attitude as well, I don’t like to ‘drift’ and planning is one of the keys to success!

I set 3, 6 and 12 month goals and have been cracking on with them ever since. I will be doing a separate post about the goals as I feel they need their own feature :)

In the meantime (running up to Xmas) I am focusing on getting settled into the new routine, building a decent base on lifts such as squats, deadlifts, pull ups and bench etc; and honing in on my diet.

What I will say is that my focus is based much more around Athleticism and things are going to be getting gritty and hard-core – I am very excited and can’t wait to see the physical, mental and fitness changes over the next year.

I have lots of things lined up and will be making 2013 one hell of a year!!

 

I also want to thank every last one of you who has supported me over the past 3 months, it has made the process much smoother – my life has changed completely and the whole journey has been even more fulfilling and rewarding knowing that I have encouraged others to change too.

I may not be where I want to be. I may not be where I should to be, but thankfully I’m not where I used to be. My past has made me who I am today, it has been a long hard journey but I have become stronger, and learnt more about myself and what I want to achieve through every experience I have encountered. Now I am confident that nothing can stand in my way of fulfilling my dreams – all it takes is courage, dedication, a little bit of fight and anything can be accomplished.

Chocolate Hazelnut Butter

Happy Monday Peeps :)

It felt so strange this morning waking up and not having the USN challenge to crack on with - I felt a little bit lost.

I haven't really had much spare time to reflect back on the challenge yet, but want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has supported me over the last 12 weeks. It has made the whole process even more enjoyable, and I have grown so much as a person from it - thanks guys :)

So...
I am going to share with you today a new recipe!! I hope you give it a try, it actually tastes like Nutella. I will warn you that you will need willpower to not eat the whole batch straight away- I had to take my dogs out for a walk to take my mind off the little jar in the cupboard.

Chocolate Hazelnut Butter

200g Hazelnuts

3 Tbl spn Cocoa Powder (Green & Blacks Organic dark)

1 Tsp Vanilla Essence

1 Tsp 100% Pure Maple Syrup

1/2 - 1 Tsp Coconut Oil (melted)

• Preheat oven (200c)
• Lay Hazelnuts on a baking sheet on a tray and toast in oven for approx 10 mins
• Once cooled remove most of the skins (I left some on because I got impatient)
• Place Hazelnuts in Magimix or food processor and blitz until smooth (this took about 7 minutes. Have faith that it will eventually turn creamy)

• Once the Hazelnut butter is made, add the cocoa powder, vanilla essence and maple syrup and blend again (keep scraping the mixture from the side of the bowl, don't worry if it turns into a ball just keep mixing)

• After about 1 minute add the melted coconut oil, blitz again and wait for your Nutella to turn creamy and glossy.

At this point you may want to taste it to check for sweetness. I prefer it to be more of a bitter chocolate taste so you may want to add more vanilla, maple syrup or even a sweetener such as Xylitol if you have a really sweet tooth.

And there you have healthy Nutella!! If you have any willpower it should last for about 2 weeks in the fridge.

I would say you could get around 15 reasonable servings out of this with each serving containing:
101 cals, 1g sugar, 9g healthy fats and 2g protein

 

Let me know what you think if you decide to give it a try - I am currently planning a few other flavour variations so keep an eye out!